To Untapped Waters, Undreamed Shores
by pixie4sparks
Summary: "The Red Band Society is a group I love to be apart of. But, at the end of the day it is for a bunch of really sick kids and in that sense being in the Society, probably isn't a good thing." * Emma/Dash Friendship * Emma/Leo References * Mature Themes
1. Brother

Smart. Pretty. Perfect.

A perfect mess.

Emma Chota's intelligence was not to be questioned, the girl had the mind of a scholar and the grades to get her into the top universities in the country. That is, if she lives long enough to see her high school graduation. Everyone at the hospital looks at her like she wants to be hospitalized, as if she enjoys it. While everyone else has cancer, genetic disorders, and needs transplants; this girl can't shove a fucking potato chip down her throat.

As Emma sat down in her meticulously neat bed and donned her classic stockings and white jersey dress, she sat and pondered her situation. It wasn't about food or the fear of being fat. It's what food represents that scares the living shit out of her. Her whole life Emma had the perfect parents and good school atmosphere, while other kids lived in poverty and with absentee parents she has the best life could offer. So why was she so unhappy?

Food has this power over Emma, not even she could understand. It pulls her into a whirlwind of horrific memories and a need for control. When nothing was going her way, when she could do nothing in her life to control her own destiny, she snatched the wheel back by rejecting food. Everyone's day is centered around food. Wake up for breakfast, a break midday for lunch in order to get some time out of school or work, and dinner before bedtime. Meal times run the world, well it wouldn't run Emma. Not after what she had been through.

Growing up in a good suburban home, Emma should have been happy, and she was for the most part. She was a loner and kids could be brutally mean, but it was nothing she couldn't handle; until the incident.

A teacher, a man who she was supposed to be able to trust, a man that was supposed to protect her; exploited her by abusing his power and position on her. He destroyed her as a 12 year old girl. She was supposed to be worried about the math test on Friday and what shoes she would wear to Cara Brown's birthday party but she was forced to deal with problems much bigger than herself.

In a moment Emma's neat and orderly life went spiraling out of control. No one knew, no one could ever know. It was a burden Emma carried alone. That vile man had stolen her innocence, her life as she knew it. And now she was living at Oak Park Hospital weighing a whopping 91 pounds. Still, she would not eat.

_Dash__'__s Point of View_

When it comes to the Red Band Society, Leo's the leader—no question about it. But, I think it means the most to me. I want the Society to work out so badly because I believe the others would be okay without it, but me, I need them; even if they don't realize it.

When Jordi and Leo fight over Emma, when Emma and Leo fight in their relationship, when Kara and literally anyone fight it eats me up inside. I am the first one to try and mend the relationships and stop the arguing because the Society can't break up, this band of brothers means more to me than they will ever know.

I have Cystic Fibrosis, I was diagnosed with it while my mom was still pregnant—before I was ever born. I don't remember a world without doctors, nurses, and hospitals. I have been here my whole life, and it is home. The rest of the Red Banders have lived normal lives before they were here, and they can live normal lives once again. I will always be the kid with bad lungs and bad genes.

I care so much when everyone is arguing because I need them more than they need me. I've accepted death, I am okay with dying. I continue to fight for my mom and dad; but I've accepted my fate. If Leo or Emma heard me talking right now they'd smack me upside my head, I can't tell them because they're all fighting and trying to beat these diseases. How do I tell them I don't want new lungs? How do I tell them the lungs should go to someone else?

_Emma__'__s Point of View_

I started crying, God I am such an idiot. What happened to me was a long time ago. Why the hell am I crying?

Just as I was wiping my tears new ones began to form and I was all out sobbing in my room, at that moment Dash strode by on his skateboard. One glance at me, and he sprinted into my room not exactly sure what to do. I love Dash with all my heart. He's not just my boyfriend's best friend, he's my friend too. But, the boy's speciality is not crying anorexic girls.

He stood with one hand around my arm trying to console me to no avail and eventually I gave in to his hug and broke down on his chest. He held me into his shirt and I cried and cried while Dash held me, letting me feel everything I needed to with no judgement. Dash never judged.

He petted my hair and whispered "Shh, it's all going to be all right, you're safe Em."

I pulled back and curled my knees under my arms on my head and turned away from him to face the window, my cries halting. He sat down on the edge of my bed, looking at me.

"You okay? What was that about?" he questioned.

"Nothing Dash, thanks for coming in but I'm okay," I lied.

The best thing about Dash? He doesn't force the issue. So I let my sobs subside and he stayed while we sat in a comfortable silence, like a best friend should.

_Dash__'__s Point of View_

It has been a few days since Emma's crying incident, she's my friend,and I would die for her (oh the irony). But, crying is not something Emma does often. The only other time I remember her crying was a few months ago when Leo broke up with her the first time, she was crying in a utility closet, and I found her and told her what an idiot my best friend was to lose the best thing that has ever happened to him. It's true. I love Leo—he's my brother from another, but his dumb ass dumped a great girl.

But, this crying wasn't a boy problem cry, it was a cry for help. Almost as if she needed to cry in order to relieve some internal pain she had been carrying for a long time. Emma has strong relationship issues and with her anorexia I don't know how great of an idea it is for her and Leo to be dating again but I want them both to be happy so I won't say anything. All I know is Emma is not okay.

Sitting in class, I felt my phone vibrate in my pants, I took it out to see a text from Emma that read:

_Emma: Can you meet me on the rooftop tonight after the nurses make their rounds?_

I was taken aback, Emma rarely broke the rules but I responded with a yes anyway. The rest of the day I wondered why Emma wanted to meet with me, the only time we went to the rooftop was for a Red Band party or problem, and that was with all members.

After Nurse Jackson turned my breathing treatment off I made my way towards the roof, by the time I got out there without being caught, Emma was already up there.

She was already dressed for bed and looked like she hadn't slept in days, she turned to see me and relief swept across her face.

"You came," she said surprised.

"Of course, it's the rules of the Society, always help a fellow Red Bander in need" I smiled.

She laughed but then turned somber once again.

"I have to tell you something, something I haven't told anyone else," she confessed. "I thought I was okay, I thought I was over it but I'm not and I can't tell Leo I don't even know what he would say, he'd probably flip. But, you can't tell anyone else especially not Leo! " she continued to ramble.

"Em, I'm your friend too, of course your secret is safe with me," I promised.

We sat on the ledge overlooking downtown Los Angeles and was several moments before she spoke again.

"Everyone always tells me I'm beautiful the way I am because they think I don't eat because I'm insecure about my weight. But, that's not exactly it," she sighed before continuing. "Please don't hate me when I tell you, and don't treat me any differently when you know. Promise?"

"Promise," I vowed back.

She slowly went through the events that had played out at her school, with her teacher. She spoke so slowly I had to lean forward to make sure I was hearing her right.

As she finished her story, I was furious I wanted to fight someone that instant, I wanted to find that worthless man and crack his skull open. I wanted to—

"Dash!" Emma shouted.

I stopped my thoughts and turned my head towards her.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Only Emma could tell me that story, and then ask if I was okay.

"Of course I'm okay. Are you okay? Goddammit Emma I am so sorry. You should have never had to—I don't even know what to say," I said.

She looked at the sky once again and then looked back at me.

"You don't have to say or do anything Dash. I just wanted you to know. I had to let someone know. I've been pretending it didn't happen for so long I almost believed it for a while but it did happen and it scares the living shit out of me," she confessed.

I hesitated at first, but I put my arm on her shoulder to comfort her. I pulled back for a second and reached towards my other arm to pull off the red band on my wrist. I turned her arm around and put it on Emma's wrist instead.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"The Red Band Society is a group I love to be apart of. But, at the end of the day it is for a bunch of really sick kids and in that sense being in the Society, probably isn't a good thing. But, Emma; Leo and Jordi didn't choose to have cancer, Charlie didn't choose a coma, Kara didn't choose to have a bad heart, and I did not choose to have such shit lungs. Emma, I want you to know that no matter what other people think, no matter what you sometimes may think—you did not choose to be raped. You did not choose to be anorexic. The Red Band Society is very proud to have you as a member, but I am so sorry you ever had to join it," I said, my voice cracking with inevitable cries.

She cracked a grin and hugged me, I hugged back.

"There you two are! Nurse Jackson has been looking for you two everywhere and she will freak out if you guys don't get back into bed now," it was Dr. McAndrew.

We pulled back and smiled, walking back down the stairs with our doctor who was more like our father on our way to meet our nurse who was more of a mother; this was it, this was home. For both of us, for all of us.

**Author****'****s Note: ** I just sat down and watched all the episodes in this series. Emma hits home to me in a variety of ways. I really lived out a scene in my life that is similar to this one. I have a Dash-like friend I met while I was in the hospital. Anyway, have a great night guys and stay strong no matter who or what is putting you down. It's not always easy, but it gets better.


	2. Sticky

_Emma__'__s Point of View_

Relief. That's what I felt by finally speaking those words out loud.

After Dr. McAndew got us from the rooftop, Nurse Jackson scolded us for a minute before Dash and I both trotted off to bed. Guilt free, it was the best sleep I had ever had while in the hospital.

But, I woke up the next morning in absolute panic. Why did I have to tell Dash what actually happened to me? What if Dash tells someone? What if they tell Leo or worse my parents? The great night of sleep went forgotten and my morning went from bad to worse when Brittany came in my room to drop my breakfast tray off.

Her sky blue scrubs and overly peppy attitude was not what I needed today.

"Hey Emma, you look wonderful. I love your shoes, and you should definitely do your hair like that more often," she said, smiling.

I was wearing old TOMS and my hair was tied in a loose side braid, not at all up to my usual standard. But Brittany didn't have a rude bone in her body to tell me how terrible I looked. I kept silent while she set the oatmeal down on the bedside table along with a glass of orange juice. She sent me another toothy grin, trying to encourage me to eat something before walking out.

But, I couldn't eat anything, not today. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was already telling me it wouldn't keep anything down today anyway. The intercom came over, signaling morning chapel for those who attended; the morning chapel coincides with the start of school, which meant I was late.

"Shit!" I murmured, grabbing my school bag and a pen off my desk, sprinting towards the elevators.

The whole rest of the day, all I kept thinking is, _I shouldn__'__t have said anything._

_Leo__'__s Point of View_

In school I sit next to Dash because we're usually partners on paired assignments. We were playing a game of hang man in his notebook while Ms. Townsley went over some boring ass mitochondria stuff.

The word I had made was "fucking" and Dash had to guess it. The only letters he had guessed correctly was "f" and "g" and he had already gotten a head, neck, body, and one arm to count against him.

"Man, you made this too difficult, no "a" or "s" in it at all? How does that even work?" Dash argued in hushed whispers.

"This is like the most prominent word in your vocabulary, Dash," I said back, speaking just as low.

The automatic doors to the classroom opened with the press of a button and in walked my girlfriend/friend/girl who I occasionally kiss. Emma looked tired, disheveled and not her usual self; especially considering she was never late.

Dash paused the game, as the whole class turned towards the late newcomer.

"Emma, pick up a book , have a seat, and see me after class please," Ms. Townsley demanded. She hated when anyone was late to class.

Emma did as she was told and I tried to get Dash's attention to keep guessing and continue the game but he ignored me, his focus still on Emma.

I had to nudge him in his side to get his attention but I forgot about his condition.

"Ow!" he groaned, coughing in spurts.

"Sorry man, I didn't realize. I totally forgot," I apologized.

"No worries bro it's all coo—" he tried to sat back but we were interrupted by Ms. Townsley who was already annoyed.

"Mr. Roth, Mr. Hosney, am I interrupting your socialization session?" she asked, annoyed.

Before either of us could respond she came over and ripped Dash's notebook off the table.

"Hmmm, a game of hang man, let's see if the class can finish it," she said, mockingly.

She hung it on the white board with a "cancer sucks" magnet and began to finish the words. Dash and I shared a glance and covered our faces with our hands, just fabulous.

"Let's see, something king, f-king, fucking," she spit out before she even realized what she was saying. Her hands went over her mouth in shock and she unleashed her wrath on Dash.

"Dashiel Hosney! What a filthy game! Detention, tonight!" she demanded.

Dash who didn't even create the word and had a hard time even guessing what it was kept quiet, he would never rat me out. But, I loved him too much for him to go down alone.

"It was actually my fault Ms. Townsley! I came up with the word but you see it's not the filthy word you said, it was actually supposed to be "feeling" as in my feelings for Dash are so strong I just had to let him know," I eased, the whole class cracking up in fits of laughter. "But, you know we could go with what you said if that works better."

She glared at me before announcing "Detention for you as well Mr. Roth!"

The bell rang and before anyone could even move she said "And Emma, you can join them, I will not tolerate rule breaking of any kind. You three will serve your detentions in the drawing room tonight at 8:00 in the evening.

We all groaned, just _fucking_ perfect.

_Emma__'__s Point of View_

I sprinted out of Ms. Townsley's class and headed for the stairs, knowing Leo couldn't follow me there. I went down the flights all the way to the lobby, panting when I finally got there. Not eating really does not give me much energy.

I kept walking through the double doors of the new breast cancer wing, and past the walls of the oval chapel, and headed straight towards the landing dock in the back door of the main kitchen.

I tossed my stuff towards the floor and sat down on the rusty railing, and watched as the delivery men unloaded their vans full of fatty foods. Out came: sacks of white bread, crates of different kinds of raw meat, bundles of cookies, chips, puddings, cheese sticks, and every other food imaginable. It was quite a sight, all of that food would be consumed here, in this hospital. I felt faint thinking about it.

Ken and Karen, the two heads of the kitchen came out and helped the others roll the new food into the storage rooms. I come here once in a while to watch the food when I was hungry, and when I was upset. With the mistake I had made last night, my shitty day, and my looming detention tonight; today counted as a landing dock day. On top of all that I could feel my stomach wailing in hunger. I would let it wail all it wanted out here in the back alleyway as long as it was done by detention tonight.

I was trying to avoid Dash and Leo and now I was stuck with the both of them in one room for the majority of the night. I would just pretend like I hadn't told Dash anything, I would pretend like everything was how it had been 24 hours ago, it would be simpler that way. If Dash confronts me about it, I will deny, deny, deny until the very end. Everything is perfect, it had to be.

_Dash__'__s Point of View_

Leo and I were walking through the halls aimlessly trying to avoid detention. Emma hadn't spoken to me at all since last night and it was clear she was not okay.

"Have you talked to Emma, man?" I turned to ask Leo.

"Not really, I mean we're good but nothing new. Why?" he responded.

"She doesn't seem out of it to you at all? I think she's getting worse. You know with her anorexia," I was trying to tell Leo something was wrong with her without telling him what Emma had told me last night. I wanted to tell someone else, but of course I would never betray her trust like that.

"She's the same she's always been, Dash," Leo said back. "She's fine, we're all fine. Don't sweat over something you can't control."

Just then Jordi came in front of us, sprinting and gasping for breath. Hands on his knees he managed to get out "Charlie's awake."

That's all it took for Leo and I to push past him and run as fast as we could to Kara and Charlie's room. Dr. McAndrew, Nurses Jackson, Brittany, and Kenji were all there along with Kara and Charlie's parents.

"His eyes are open but, he can't move or speak. However, we have confirmed that he can hear us," Dr McAndrew explained to Charlie's mom and dad. "I asked him to blink once for yes and blink twice for no. So far, he's been able to communicate with what he wants. Kara and Jordi asked him if he wants to eat, he said yes. They began to list off foods and he's been able to communicate what he does and does not want to eat. So far the popular ones are pizza and ice cream."

Charlie's parents began happily sobbing and hugging, each other and there son. They didn't think this moment would ever come.

"We do need to go fill out some more paperwork, if you guys can follow me," Dr. McAndrew said, winking at us on his way out.

Charlie's parents and the three nurses followed suit and we all sat around his bed, Emma walked in, looking as tired as she did this morning and took her spot next to Leo.

"Charlie I am Leo, this is Emma, Dash, Kara, and Jordi. We along with you are the Red Band Society. We're in this together, this hospital thing. We've been waiting for you to wake up for quite a while but, now that you're here our group is finally complete," Leo said, speaking like he always did—the reason why everyone loved him.

Charlie didn't have the motor skills to speak back or smile, but the look in his eyes told us he understood what was being said to him.

After an hour of hanging out in their room I realized Emma, Leo, and I had to go to detention. We filed out as Kara and Jordi showed Charlie pictures of what had been going on for the past four months.

We sat down in the drawing room and waited for Ms. Townsley to come in.

I began to speak in order to break the silence but her presence cut me off.

"You three, for being disruptive to my classroom, will serve an hour detention in here. No phones, no talking. I have to leave the hospital because I have better things to do than watch you three but someone will be in here in an hour to relieve you three. Behave," she said, walking out and shutting the door behind her.

Emma crawled out from under Leo's arm and wrapped her scarf around her thin neck; getting up to sit on the opposite side of the room.

"Where are you going," Leo asked, confused.

"I'm following orders because that—that's what the teacher said to do," Emma stuttered out.

I completely looked over how hard it may have been for Emma to go to school or interact with teachers. Is that why she took the rules so seriously? Because she really was scared of teachers?

Leo sighed and put his feet up on Emma's now empty chair, and closed his eyes, probably to take a nap.

This should be fun.

**Author****'****s Note: ** I was not planning on continuing, this story was supposed to be a one-shot. But, some really nice reviews made me want to give it a second and maybe third shot. Let's see where this goes shall we?


	3. Feeding

_Emma__'__s Point of View_

The clock finally came full circle, 8:01, we were making progress, minute by minute; only 59 minutes to go. I sat at the front of the drawing room, near the window and I could feel Dash's eyes on me so I refused to turn around. I began to chip my mint green nail polish off my fingers and watched the tiny flakes as they fell to the floor.

Soon enough snores came from the back and I turned to find Leo sleeping with his head facing the ceiling, tilted back and leaning across two chairs. I rolled my eyes and continued to pay attention to my nails like it was the most important thing that had ever happened. Normally, I felt a tiny urge of hunger but right now I felt nothing. I felt on cloud nine, like I could go months, years without eating again. No noise or feeling came from my stomach and that made me feel oh so good. Tick, tick, tick.

From the screeching sound of a chair I could tell Dash had stood up and I guessed right when I felt movement behind me. He sat in the chair directly behind me and sighed as if he hadn't slept for days.

"Charlie waking up today, I didn't expect that," Dash said.

This caught my attention, it wasn't about me and Charlie waking up was a huge deal. I nodded and said "I'm happy for him, he has a long way to go but waking up from a coma, that's amazing. I can't wait to get to know him."

"Charlie and I have had so many conversations while I was under anesthesia. It sounds crazy but I feel like I already know him," he confessed.

As someone who had never had surgery or "been under" as they call it, I lacked the experience with Charlie the others had. Yet another thing that makes me different from the other Red Banders.

"Yeah, I wish I knew him like you guys do," Emma said sadly.

"You will eventually. He'll love you, it's impossible not to," I said, truthfully. "But, Emma you know he'll love you regardless of—"

"STOP!" Emma shrieked. "Don't you dare say it Dash. It's done, it's over. I should never have told you. You promised not to say anything."

"I know Emma, but this is serious. I don't think you realize that there are certain things you do, certain tendencies you have; your anorexia could have stemmed from this. Maybe if your therapist knew you could actually make some improvements in your health instead of staying stagnant like you have been or getting worse which it seems like you are lately," Dash rambled. He paused before speaking again, "Is he—is that guy still teaching? Emma, you don't have to go through this alone, and you don't have to hide it. I'm glad you told me but, I don't think you should stop there, I think you should tell someone else. Leo, Nurse Jackson, someone else needs to know. It could help you."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked back furiously to try and get rid of them but they came streaming down anyway.

"What the hell is going on?" a low voice from the back asked. Leo.

He probably woke up when I screamed, which means he heard Dash's monologue. The wonderfully empty feeling in my stomach was more prominent than ever and I flew out of my chair to escape this room. It was as if it happened in slow motion, I popped up out of my chair and my neck flew back away from my body, my arm grabbed onto Dash's chair to catch myself and I could feel my wrist twisting. The empty feeling was still there, I was no longer hungry, I was fine, I could go to sleep now. And I did, as my arm let go of the chair and my body began to fall towards the hard tile ground.

_Leo__'__s Point of View_

I woke up to a girl screaming, Emma.

I heard what Dash said to her and I have never been more confused in my life. Emma began to cry and before I knew it she was falling and because of my damn leg I couldn't catch her. I was too far and too crippled. I really didn't deserve her.

But, Dash could save her. Save the day like he always did. She was so close to hitting the ground when he grabbed under her back and caught the back of her thighs and carefully lowered her to the ground. I had never been so jealous of Dash than in that moment. But, at the same time I wanted to hug him because a 90 pound girl crashing to the floor could not have ended well.

We both went to the floor with her and tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't wake up. She wasn't doing anything. The Emma I know is a fighter and she wasn't fighting. She couldn't do anything.

"Emma! Emma! Wake up god dammit!" I cried out. "Em, it's me you have to wake up, you have to."

Wordlessly, Dash flew up and ran out the door to get help. I could hear him from the hallway yelling "Help! There's a girl down! Help!"

"What are you on about, Dash?" another voice asked.

"Just come Dr. McAndrew. Hurry!" Dash yelled back.

I clutched onto Emma's shoulders, begging for all hell for my girl to wake up.

_Dr. McAndrew__'__s Point of View_

I was walking by the drawing room with a pile of x-rays when Dash crashed into me, causing me to drop the files all over the hallway. After a back and forth of yelling, I followed him into the drawing room to see a crying Leo hovering over an unconscious Emma.

"What the hell happened to her?" I asked the boys, and rushing towards the fallen girl.

"She stood up and she was all dizzy and fell backwards. Dash caught her before she fell, but she won't wake up," Leo responded frantically.

I reached towards Emma's arm and felt an extremely faint pulse.

"Boys step back, and move out of the way now," I instructed. They fell back and watched as I lifted the small girl into my arms. It was like carrying a pillow, she was far too skinny. I hurriedly carried her out to the hallway and straight across the hall, past the double doors to the pre-surgical preparation room and laid her down on a bed.

"We need a team here! I have a sixteen year old female, anorexic patient. Page Dr. Peter Morales, we'll need a feeding tube and we'll have to open her up," I barked orders. "You two," I said to Dash and Leo who followed me, get out and go back to your rooms."

They immediately began protesting and giving in I said "Fine, wait in the waiting room, but you can't stay here."

I treat these kids and I love these kids very much. But, sometimes I think they get too close. These are all very serious illnesses and there's no telling which one of them, if any will survive them. Emma is a great friend of their's but, she might not make it. And I couldn't bring myself to tell those boys that.

Dash and Leo reluctantly left while I along with a scrub nurse prepped Emma for surgery. She had starved herself to the point of no return. When someone's starving, there comes a point when they no longer feel hungry, and that's when they are close to death. I am an oncologist, not a general surgeon but I obviously have knowledge of Emma's situation. I will aid Dr. Morales in putting a feeding tube in Emma, both as a doctor helping another doctor but, also as a protector of the other members of the "Red Band Society" in which they call themselves.

Standard precaution at the hospital is to always test a female for pregnancy before doing any x-ray, surgery, or handing over medication. Amy, a nurse took blood from Emma's arm and rushed it to the lab for testing. It would only take a few minutes and when the nurse gave me the okay with the results to confirm Emma was in fact not pregnant I opened up a central line in Emma's frail elbow crease, and stuck an IV in her arm to begin pumping her with medications she'll need for emergency surgery. We began to wheel to the operating room and Dr. Morales came soon enough.

"It's Emma? Oh no, she's been here a long time. I was wondering when this time would come," Dr. Morales said.

For patients with eating disorders who didn't improve on their own there was only two options: death or a feeding tube. And I would not let Emma die.

Kate, the anesthesiologist successfully put Emma under and cleared us to start cutting. Peter Morales is the best general surgeon in the state and Emma was safe in his hands. But, I couldn't bring myself to leave even though my hands weren't really needed.

Morales cut her shirt down the middle with a pair of surgical scissors, leaving Emma in just her bra. I grabbed a drape sheet to cover her and noticed her bones on her ribcage were protruding in ways I didn't know they could. Morales continued by cutting down her stomach and opening up her esophagus, placing the tube in it's proper location and making sure the nutrients pumped through the tube would channel to the rest of her body.

I held the clamp as he stitched her back up, only this time Emma had a tube in the middle of her stomach, and although it would help her health tremendously in the short-term, it would be harmful in the long-term. When she woke up, she would not be happy about the tube and I don't blame her. Those things are painful and many times humiliating. Force feeding is never a pretty sight.

Morales was finished and a couple of nurses helped get a hospital gown on the still unconscious girl while unhooking her to all the machines. Now we just had to wheel her to recovery, begin her first feeding, and wait for her to wake up.

_Emma__'__s Point of View_

If this is what dying feels like, I never want to do it ever again. Was I dead? This place was really very white but there was no one else here. Is this where the others met Charlie? Charlie isn't in a coma anymore so there's no one here but me. I have no way of telling if I'm in limbo or dead. I would miss so many people if I were dead. Leo, Dash, Jordi, Charlie, even Kara, the nurses and doctors, my parents. But, would they miss me? Did it even matter?

Maybe I was better off dead, maybe the world is better off without me in it.

The more I sat and thought about it, the more I really hoped I wasn't dead. I was ashamed in admitting it. But, I wanted to live.

_Leo__'__s Point of View_

My stump was aching in pain because I have been standing on it for the better part of an hour and refused to sit. Emma was sick, really sick. A feeding tube? I think I heard Dr. McAndrew say something about a feeding tube.

"Leo, you're worried about Emma, I get it. We all are. But you have to sit down, you leg is gonna start to bleed," Dash begged.

"Sit down? I can't fucking sit down Dash! My girlfriend is in there! She may be dead for all I know. And I—I never even told her I love her. So no, Dash I can't fucking sit down," I responded.

Dash stopped asking me things from then on but, I suddenly remembered why Emma was so upset to get up in detention in the first place.

"Hey, why was Emma so angry with you? Why'd you say that stuff that made her cry? What secret is she talking about that you know and I don't," I questioned.

Dash didn't respond and continued to look at the fruit painting on the wall.

"Well, what is it Dash? What the hell is going on between you two?" I said again, getting angrier.

"Look it's not my place to say anything. Okay? If it was I would tell you because I have never wanted to share anything more in my entire life. As much as I'm concerned about it, it's not my secret to tell. And you'll have to ask her," Dash said, loyal as ever.

"Ask her? Dash I may never be able to speak to her again! Who knows what's happening in there? Will I see her again?" I said, breaking down in cries.

Keeping quiet, Dash came over to my side, and pushed a chair underneath me, forcing me to sit down. And he sat next to me, and let me cry while we waited, and waited.

**Author****'****s Note: ** Thanks for the love guys, but something that gets me more than story/author favorites and follows? Reviews! Reviews help me a lot, I like to see your guys' opinion and input as to where you want to see this story go or what you think may happen. Or even if you hated it. Make me become a better writer, tell me what I can do better!


	4. Confrontations

_Emma's Point of View_

It has been 36 hours since detention. I have never felt such physical pain as I do right now nor have I been so humiliated. The ICU nurses were currently wheeling my bed to my regular room and my head was spinning looking at the hospital lights above. My body lurched forward a bit when they wheeled the bed over the bump in the doorway and I groaned.

After they hooked me all up and locked my bed in place, the ICU nurses left to give my files and report to the pediatric nurses. I was finally glad to be alone and wished the nurses had closed the sliding glass door behind them.

My mattered brown hair felt greasy and knotted and I knew the bags under my eyes were beginning to form. But, what I hated most was the tube sticking out of my stomach. I carefully slipped my hand underneath my hospital gown and felt at the plastic opening again. I let out a cry and buried my head into my pillow.

A feeding tube? I never thought it would come to this. I felt open and horribly exposed, the nurses refused to let me change into my own clothing, saying they had easier access to the feeding tube if I had a hospital gown on. I shivered through the small layers I had on and rubbed my arms together. My red band was on one arm, and on the other was a bright pink tag that read, "NPO" followed by a yellow sticker that said, "fall risk".

When I woke up in the ICU, Dr. McAndrew was by my bedside and he explained what had happened, how I fell, how the boys got help and they rushed me into surgery. He told me about the feeding tube where I all but lost my composure and after several futile attempts at ripping it out, Dr. McAndrew grabbed my hands to stop me from hurting myself. His eyes glazed over but he let me throw my tantrum. Once I calmed down a little, he explained to me that the feeding tube is only temporary. Before leaving, he explained my new armbands, which he warned me not to take off. The yellow "fall risk" one is due to the fact that I hurt myself by falling and would therefore need to be closely monitored by the hospital staff. The pink "NPO" band on the other hand is medical jargon for nothing by mouth.

Nothing by mouth. No food or water or pills or anything. I can't swallow anything while I have the feeding tube. I let out a horrible laugh due to the irony of it all. I didn't want to eat in the first place, well now I couldn't even if I wanted to.

The new pink and yellow bracelets, made me sick looking at them. They felt uncomfortable on my wrists and out of place next to my red band. I lay down in my bed and wiped my tears. My life was so different just two days ago. Now, I've hit rock bottom. I just don't know if I can find my way back up.

_Kara's Point of View_

Jordi and I had to go on a manhunt for Leo and Dash the other night, after they had been M.I.A. since detention; we found them passed out in the surgical waiting room. Dash's usual happy-go-lucky demeanor was gone and he remained silent even when we woke them up. Leo's eyes were brimmed red, signaling he had been crying.

The four of us walked to the elevators where no one spoke. Once we got to our floor, Leo pushed past us and went to his room. Immediately, Jordi and I began bombarding Dash with questions.

"What exactly happened?" I said at the same time Jordi exclaimed, "Is she okay?"

Dash banged the wall next to him in frustration, which shut both of us up. "Emma fell in detention, she's in surgery," Dash whispered. "That's all we know."

He took his signature baseball hat off and tucked it under his arm before stalking off into the direction of his own room, leaving Jordi and I more confused than we were before.

The next day, it was revealed that Emma was in the ICU, and that news made the entire day somber. The only time anyone of us left our rooms was for therapy. Early the next morning, I saw nurses wheeling Emma back into her room, from my bed, and had an internal battle with myself before finally deciding to follow them.

I didn't bother knocking on her door; I just walked in and stood next to her torso. The usual perfect Emma looked a complete mess. I hated myself for thinking it, but I was kind of happy that for once, this perfect princess had woken up to reality.

"Can I help you?" Emma asked sarcastically, her eyes burning a whole in the blank T.V. screen.

"I know we aren't friends but, everyone—well the others are worried about you," I told her.

"It doesn't matter. Just forget about me," she said, emotionless.

I sighed before getting really annoyed. Was this how I was when I first came to Ocean Park? "Look," I say, "You have no idea how good you've got it Emma. You're sick I know that, we all are. But, you have people here who care about you and I mean really care. Dash and Leo were out all night in the waiting room just to see if they could get some news on your condition. You have Jordi and Leo fighting for your affection. The nurses love you, the doctors love you. Emma, you are the luckiest girl to have so many people who are rooting for you to succeed. How can you not care?"

"I don't deserve any of that from them, and I sure as hell don't want it!" Emma roared, back. I took a step back, not used to this side of Emma; she was normally composed and calm. "You are just a spoiled little rich girl whose biggest problem is whether or not she gets the right boyfriend. Okay, some people have bigger things to deal with, bigger problems."

"I didn't come here to fight with you. I just wanted to make sure you are somewhat okay after what happened. You might not care about yourself but you have a lot of people here who do," I said, before storming out and heading back to the room I share with Charlie.

Emma is so selfish. She has family and friends who care for her, and all she can think of is herself. If this doesn't wake her up, I don't know what will.

_Dash's Point of View_

I haven't left my room in two days. It's my fault, all my fault if I could just keep my fucking mouth shut none of this would have happened. I can't look Leo in the eyes; and I don't know what to say to Emma. On my grave it will read "Dashiel Hosney: certified fuck up."

For once I'm glad I have my own room. Cystic Fibrosis is good for one thing, not a lot of people want to be around you.

Should I say something? Should I apologize to Emma? Forget anything ever happened? How the hell did I get at the center of this whole thing? I hate knowing things others don't. I'm a terrible liar.

I continued to pace back and forth in my room before Leo came barging in.

"She's awake! She's back in her room!" he exclaimed. "I need to know what to say, Dash. You're her best friend here, what can I say to make this all better?"

I ran my hands through my hair and groan. "I don't know, Leo. I don't know anything anymore." I throw my hands up in the air before finally deciding to tell Leo something he doesn't want to hear

"Leo you're my friend, and so is Emma. But you and her, you aren't right for each other. You know how much Emma loves projects right? She gets all excited and organized and makes lists and whatnot. You're kind of like a project to her Leo. She can't be with you and care for herself. Not right now at least. She has to be able to stand alone before she can stand next to you."

I don't know what's come over me but I know this is what needs to be said, even if Leo doesn't want to hear it.

Leo looks down on his lap and rests his arm on his wheelchair before looking up at me.

"You're my best friend, Dash you're supposed to support me on this. I love her; I can't just let her go! Is this all some ploy so you can have her?" Leo yelled, his bald head fuming.

"What? No, nothing like that Leo! Emma is my friend and so are you. She needs her friends right now. Not a relationship. If you really love Emma you will give her time to get better on her own. She has to get better because she wants to do it for herself, not for anyone else," I maintain my composure.

Leo bites his lip and closes his eyes, knowing I'm right. "You are on the money, Dash. Just like you always are when it comes to friendships. I'm sorry for accusing you like that. But, I don't care if I'm being selfish. I just can't let her go. Not now, not ever," he says before wheeling himself out of my room and down towards Emma's room.

I followed him out and yelled, "There's more to it than even you know!"

But he continued to roll down the tile halls to get his damsel, if only he knew the amount of distress she's in.

**Author's Note:** The last episode premiered and I'm so sad! But I'm back…


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